Date number 2 - Screw you, Karma...

Tuesday 19 October, 7:28pm

So... Date number 2 is upon us.

Her name is xxxxx, quite a posh name. She is 25, works in a hospital and seems nice. One of her photos is at the Tiger Temple in Thailand, where I was last year. So we have at least 2 minutes of conversation sorted!

I actually hold out a lot more hope for this one than I did the last one. Hopefully this will go well and not be as funny as the last one. I didn't think the last one would be disastrous though.

9:28pm

Sorry lads, no disaster, no funny stories, nothing like that. She's got a really great body, is pretty and really nice. I'm almost disappointed in a weird way.

11:02pm

She was driving tonight, so only had 1 drink. I had 5 so a little drunk at the end of it. We had a good chat about many random things, she's a really nice girl.

I walked her back to her car, didn't get a kiss... bleh. Going to see her again probably next week.

No hilarity in this... sorry lads.

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Since than we were chatting a bit and were sorting out when to meet up again until I got this message last night:

"Hey

I want to be honest with you here. I had a great time with you the other night, and did want to see you again, but there is someone who I had a date with before and we've now seen each other since. I didn't really think anything was going to come of it at first, but I think it would be unfair on him and you if we were to go out again.

I want to do it this way as you seem a really good guy and I wouldn't want to be seen to be messing you about. "

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So, 2 attempts, 2 failures! At least she was polite... although I can't help thinking I was also incredibly polite to girl number 1... Is this Karma?

Fortune favours the brave however, so I am by no means deterred. Working on the next effort already.

Date number 1 - Not what I expected...

I wrote the following on a messageboard, before, during and after that fateful night!

8:22

I'm about to go for some drinks with a girl off plentyoffish. We've been texting each other, she seems nice. 21, at Uni, she's a decent laugh and is intelligent.

I fear she's going to be massive though.

[photo removed - she looked really pretty, she might have been carrying a few extra pounds but really attractive]

Will report back later on

10:07

She's fucking massive. I want to go home. I'm sure she wants to come with me. No idea what to do. Want to be polite without being TOO polite.

10:39

On pint 5, she's still not attractive. I could take it if she was attractive and chubby. She's just a mess.

Mates response

why do girls put up these misleading photos? don't they feel really embarrassed when they see the look of disappointment on the lads face when they arrive?

My Response 

I'm sure she will eat away the pain.

11:30

Fucking hell.

A song came on, How Soon Is Now?, with lyrics of 'I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does'. I said I needed to go home as I have work tomorrow.

I walked her towards her bus stop, she asked if I wanted to see her again, I said of course (didnt want to hurt her feelings) and she went to kiss me. I gave her a hug. Then I walked past a rocking bar and there were dozens of amazingly fit and toned 18 year olds. I felt like a right twat for drinking with some fat bird off the internet.

Never again.

And now she's just text me 'hey did you have a good night? what did you think to moi? x'

I have no idea what to reply with.

She at least looked attractive on the photo I posted. Could clearly be a bit fat but attractive. Ugh, she was just a mess. I am so turned off I couldn't even wank tonight.

I hope you liked the updates

 

11:40

Apparently I'm funny, smart and good looking and she wants to go on another date.

We all know that none of it is true. And I'm still out of her league.

I have some vodka in the fridge. I might need to neck it.

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I went to bed shortly after this. I didn't think I'd do it again, but I created such comedy when telling my friends that I intend to carry on. Next date lined up shortly!

Introduction

Hello All,

Just a little background information - I'm 25 years old, I work in IT and I've been single for about 6 months and decided to give internet dating a whirl. Although it probably doesn't look like it, I am not a misogynist and I would actually like a relationship.

I have been on one date so far, and as you will see, it wasn't a massive success. You will also note that I'm not a talented writer, but hopefully you will get some laughs on the way.

Of course, I won't name anyone on this site or post any photos, nor am I intentionally seeking to embarrass or insult anyone. It just kinda happens.

Also, I won't reveal my identity as it would lower the potential for me to meet women.

Enjoy!